Monica's multiply

The Italian journalist Oriana Fallaci died recently at the age of 77. Known during most of her career for aggressive, throw caution to the wind type interviewing, she's had an audience with movers and shakers from the Ayatollah Khomeini to Henry Kissinger and Deng Xiaoping. In the New York Times obit/article linked to above, we found links to several of her interviews, including one with Deng Xiaoping in 1980. The interview is interesting as it takes place at a critical juncture in Chinese history -- Deng had assumed control two years earlier and launched the reforms that set the country on a drastically different path than the one Mao had envisioned. The interview deals with the legacy of Mao, the Gang of Four, the Cultural Revolution, and what the consequences of China's reforms.

Oriana Fallaci's interview with Deng Xiaoping

Oriana Fallaci: Will Chairman Mao's portrait above Tiananmen Gate be kept there?

Deng Xiaoping: It will, forever. In the past there were too many portraits of Chairman Mao. They were hung everywhere. That was not proper and it didn't really show respect for Chairman Mao. It's true that he made mistakes in a certain period, but he was after all a principal founder of the Chinese Communist Party and the People's Republic of China. In evaluating his merits and mistakes, we hold that his mistakes were only secondary. What he did for the Chinese people can never be erased. In our hearts we Chinese will always cherish him as a founder of our Party and our state.

Question: We Westerners find a lot of things hard to understand. The Gang of Four are blamed for all the faults. I'm told that when the Chinese talk about the Gang of Four, many of them hold up five fingers.

Answer: We must make a clear distinction between the nature of Chairman Mao's mistakes and the crimes of Lin Biao and the Gang of Four. For most of his life, Chairman Mao did very good things. Many times he saved the Party and the state from crises. Without him the Chinese people would, at the very least, have spent much more time groping in the dark. Chairman Mao's greatest contribution was that he applied the principles of Marxism-Leninism to the concrete practice of the Chinese revolution, pointing the way to victory. It should be said that before the sixties or the late fifties many of his ideas brought us victories, and the fundamental principles he advanced were quite correct. He creatively applied Marxism-Leninism to every aspect of the Chinese revolution, and he had creative views on philosophy, political science, military science, literature and art, and so on. Unfortunately, in the evening of his life, particularly during the ``Cultural Revolution'', he made mistakes -- and they were not minor ones -- which brought many misfortunes upon our Party, our state and our people. As you know, during the Yan'an days our Party summed up Chairman Mao's thinking in various fields as Mao Zedong Thought, and we made it our guiding ideology. We won great victories for the revolution precisely because we adhered to Mao Zedong Thought. Of course, Mao Zedong Thought was not created by Comrade Mao alone -- other revolutionaries of the older generation played a part in forming and developing it -- but primarily it embodies Comrade Mao's thinking. Nevertheless, victory made him less prudent, so that in his later years some unsound features and unsound ideas, chiefly ``Left'' ones, began to emerge. In quite a number of instances he went counter to his own ideas, counter to the fine and correct propositions he had previously put forward, and counter to the style of work he himself had advocated. At this time he increasingly lost touch with reality. He didn't maintain a good style of work. He did not consistently practise democratic centralism and the mass line, for instance, and he failed to institutionalize them during his lifetime. This was not the fault of Comrade Mao Zedong alone. Other revolutionaries of the older generation, including me, should also be held responsible. Some abnormalities appeared in the political life of our Party and state -- patriarchal ways or styles of work developed, and glorification of the individual was rife; political life in general wasn't too healthy. Eventually these things led to the ``Cultural Revolution'', which was a mistake.

Question: You mentioned that in his last years, Chairman Mao was in poor health. But at the time of Liu Shaoqi's arrest and his subsequent death in prison Mao's health wasn't so bad. And there are other mistakes to be accounted for. Wasn't the Great Leap Forward a mistake? Wasn't copying the Soviet model a mistake? And what did Chairman Mao really want with the ``Cultural Revolution''?

Answer: Mistakes began to occur in the late fifties -- the Great Leap Forward, for instance. But that wasn't solely Chairman Mao's fault either. The people around him got carried away too. We acted in direct contravention of objective laws, attempting to boost the economy all at once. As our subjective wishes went against objective laws, losses were inevitable. Still, it is Chairman Mao who should be held primarily responsible for the Great Leap Forward. But it didn't take him long -- just a few months -- to recognize his mistake, and he did so before the rest of us and proposed corrections. And in 962, when because of some other factors those corrections had not been fully carried out, he made a self-criticism. But the lessons were not fully drawn, and as a result the ``Cultural Revolution'' erupted. So far as Chairman Mao's own hopes were concerned, he initiated the ``Cultural Revolution'' in order to avert the restoration of capitalism, but he had made an erroneous assessment of China's actual situation. In the first place, the targets of the revolution were wrongly defined, which led to the effort to ferret out ``capitalist roaders in power in the Party''. Blows were dealt at leading cadres at all levels who had made contributions to the revolution and had practical experience, including Comrade Liu Shaoqi. In the last couple of years before Chairman Mao's death he said that the ``Cultural Revolution'' had been wrong on two counts: one was ``overthrowing all'', and the other was waging a ``full-scale civil war''. These two counts alone show that the ``Cultural Revolution'' cannot be called correct. Chairman Mao's mistake was a political mistake, and not a small one. On the other hand, it was taken advantage of by the two counter-revolutionary cliques headed by Lin Biao and the Gang of Four, who schemed to usurp power. Therefore, we should draw a line between Chairman Mao's mistakes and the crimes of Lin Biao and the Gang of Four.

Question: But we all know that it was Chairman Mao himself who chose Lin Biao1 as his successor, much in the same way as an emperor chooses his heir.

Answer: This is what I've just referred to as an incorrect way of doing things. For a leader to pick his own successor is a feudal practice. It is an illustration of the imperfections in our institutions which I referred to a moment ago.

Question: To what extent will Chairman Mao be involved when you hold your next Party congress?

Answer: We will make an objective assessment of Chairman Mao's contributions and his mistakes. We will reaffirm that his contributions are primary and his mistakes secondary. We will adopt a realistic approach towards the mistakes he made late in life. We will continue to adhere to Mao Zedong Thought, which represents the correct part of Chairman Mao's life. Not only did Mao Zedong Thought lead us to victory in the revolution in the past; it is -- and will continue to be -- a treasured possession of the Chinese Communist Party and of our country. That is why we will forever keep Chairman Mao's portrait on Tiananmen Gate as a symbol of our country, and we will always remember him as a founder of our Party and state. Moreover, we will adhere to Mao Zedong Thought. We will not do to Chairman Mao what Khrushchov did to Stalin.

Question: Do you mean to say that the name of Chairman Mao will inevitably come up when the Gang of Four is brought to trial as well as when you have your next Party congress?

Answer: His name will be mentioned. Not only at the next Party congress but also on other occasions. But the trial of the Gang of Four will not detract from Chairman Mao's prestige. Of course, he was responsible for putting them in their positions. Nevertheless, the crimes the Gang of Four themselves committed are more than sufficient to justify whatever sentences may be passed on them.

Question: I have heard that Chairman Mao frequently complained that you didn't listen to him enough, and that he didn't like you. Is it true?

Answer: Yes, Chairman Mao did say I didn't listen to him. But this wasn't directed only at me. It happened to other leaders as well. It reflects some unhealthy ideas in his twilight years, that is, patriarchal ways which are feudal in nature. He did not readily listen to differing opinions. We can't say that all his criticisms were wrong. But neither was he ready to listen to many correct opinions put forward not only by me but by other comrades. Democratic centralism was impaired, and so was collective leadership. Otherwise, it would be hard to explain how the ``Cultural Revolution'' broke out.

Question: There was one personage in China who always went unscathed, and that was Premier Zhou Enlai. How do you explain this fact?

Answer: Premier Zhou was a man who worked hard and uncomplainingly all his life. He worked 12 hours a day, and sometimes 16 hours or more, throughout his life. We got to know each other quite early, that is, when we were in France on a work-study programme during the 1920s. I have always looked upon him as my elder brother. We took the revolutionary road at about the same time. He was much respected by his comrades and all the people. Fortunately he survived during the ``Cultural Revolution'' when we were knocked down. He was in an extremely difficult position then, and he said and did many things that he would have wished not to. But the people forgave him because, had he not done and said those things, he himself would not have been able to survive and play the neutralizing role he did, which reduced losses. He succeeded in protecting quite a number of people.

Question: I don't see how terrible things like the ``Cultural Revolution'' can be avoided or prevented from recurring.

Answer: This issue has to be addressed by tackling the problems in our institutions. Some of those we established in the past were, in fact, tainted by feudalism, as manifested in such things as the personality cult, the patriarchal ways or styles of work, and the life tenure of cadres in leading posts. We are now looking into ways to prevent such things from recurring and are preparing to start with the restructuring of our institutions. Our country has a history of thousands of years of feudalism and is still lacking in socialist democracy and socialist legality. We are now working earnestly to cultivate socialist democracy and socialist legality. Only in this way can we solve the problem.

Question: Are you sure that things will proceed more smoothly from now on? Can you attain the goal you have set yourselves? I hear that the so-called Maoists are still around. By ``Maoists'' I mean those who backed the ``Cultural Revolution''.

Answer: The influence of the Gang of Four should not be underrated, but it should be noted that 97 or 98 per cent of the population hate them intensely for their crimes. This was shown by the mass movement against the Gang of Four which erupted at Tiananmen Square on April 5, 1976, when the Gang were still riding high, Chairman Mao was critically ill and Premier Zhou had passed away. Since the Gang's overthrow [in 1976], and particularly in the past two years, the will and demands of the people have been given expression in the Third, Fourth and Fifth Plenary Sessions of the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party. We are considering ways of resolving our problems by improving our institutions. Many issues have already been raised now. Particular emphasis is being laid on working single-mindedly for the four modernizations, and this is winning the hearts of the people. They want political stability and unity. They are fed up with large-scale movements. Such movements invariably ended up hurting a number -- and not a small number -- of people. Incessant movements make it practically impossible to concentrate on national construction. Therefore, we can say for sure that given the correctness of our present course, the people will support us and such phenomena as the ``Cultural Revolution'' will not happen again.

Question: The Gang of Four could only have been arrested after the death of Chairman Mao. Who engineered their arrest? Who initiated the idea?

Answer: It was collective effort. First of all, I think, it had a mass base laid by the April 5th Movement [of 1976]. The term ``Gang of Four'' was coined by Chairman Mao a couple of years before his death. We waged struggles against the Gang for two years, in 1974 and 1975. By then people clearly saw them for what they were. Although Chairman Mao had designated his successor, the Gang of Four refused to accept this. After Chairman Mao's death, the Gang took the opportunity to try and get all power into their own hands, and the situation demanded action from us. They were rampant at that time, trying to overthrow the new leadership. Under these circumstances, the great majority of the comrades of the Political Bureau were agreed that measures had to be taken to deal with the Gang. The efforts of one of two individuals would not have sufficed for this purpose.

It should be pointed out that some of the things done after the arrest of the Gang of Four were inconsistent with Chairman Mao's wishes, for instance, the construction of the Chairman Mao Memorial Hall. He had proposed in the fifties that we should all be cremated when we died and that only our ashes be kept, that no remains should be preserved and no tombs built. Chairman Mao was the first to sign his name, and we all followed suit. Nearly all senior cadres at the central level and across the country signed. We still have that book of signatures. What was done in the matter after the smashing of the Gang of Four was prompted by the desire to achieve a relative stability.

Question: Does this mean that the Chairman Mao Memorial Hall will soon be demolished?

Answer: I am not in favour of changing it. Now that it is there, it would not be appropriate to remove it. It wasn't appropriate to build it in the first place, but to change it would give rise to all kinds of talk. Many people are now speculating whether we will demolish the Memorial Hall. We have no such idea.

Question: It is said that you are giving up the post of Vice-Premier.

Answer: I will not be the only one to resign. All other comrades of the older generation are giving up their concurrent posts. Chairman Hua Guofeng will no longer serve concurrently as Premier of the State Council. The Central Committee of the Party has recommended Comrade Zhao Ziyang as candidate for that post. If we old comrades remain at our posts, newcomers will be inhibited in their work. We face the problem of gradually reducing the average age of leaders at all levels. We have to take the lead.

There were previously no relevant rules. In fact, however, there was life tenure in leading posts. This does not facilitate the renewal of leadership or the promotion of younger people. It is an institutional defect which was not evident in the sixties because we were then in the prime of life. This issue involves not just individuals but all the relevant institutions. It has an even greater bearing on our general policy and on whether our four modernizations can be achieved. Therefore, we say it would be better for us old comrades to take an enlightened attitude and set an example in this respect.

Question: I have seen other portraits in China. At Tiananmen I've seen portraits of Marx, Engels and Lenin and particularly of Stalin. Do you intend to keep them there?

Answer: Before the ``Cultural Revolution'' they were put up only on important holidays. The practice was changed during the ``Cultural Revolution'', when they were displayed permanently. Now we are going back to the former way.

Question: The four modernizations will bring foreign capital into China, and this will inevitably give rise to private investment. Won't this lead to a miniaturized capitalism?

Answer: In the final analysis, the general principle for our economic development is still that formulated by Chairman Mao, that is, to rely mainly on our own efforts with external assistance subsidiary. No matter to what degree we open up to the outside world and admit foreign capital, its relative magnitude will be small and it can't affect our system of socialist public ownership of the means of production. Absorbing foreign capital and technology and even allowing foreigners to construct plants in China can only play a complementary role to our effort to develop the productive forces in a socialist society. Of course, this will bring some decadent capitalist influences into China. We are aware of this possibility; it's nothing to be afraid of.

Question: Does it mean that not all in capitalism is so bad?

Answer: It depends on how you define capitalism. Any capitalism is superior to feudalism. And we cannot say that everything developed in capitalist countries is of a capitalist nature. For instance, technology, science -- even advanced production management is also a sort of science -- will be useful in any society or country. We intend to acquire advanced technology, science and management skills to serve our socialist production. And these things as such have no class character.

Question: I remember that several years ago, when talking about private plots in rural areas, you acknowledged that man needs some personal interest to produce. Doesn't this mean to put in discussion communism itself?

Answer: According to Marx, socialism is the first stage of communism and it covers a very long historical period in which we must practise the principle ``to each according to his work'' and combine the interests of the state, the collective and the individual, for only thus can we arouse people's enthusiasm for labour and develop socialist production. At the higher stage of communism, when the productive forces will be greatly developed and the principle ``from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs'' will be practised, personal interests will be acknowledged still more and more personal needs will be satisfied.

Question: You mentioned that there are others who made contributions to Mao Zedong Thought. Who were they?

Answer: Other revolutionaries of the older generation, for example Premier Zhou Enlai, Comrades Liu Shaoqi and Zhu De -- and many others. Many senior cadres are creative and original in their thinking.

Question: Why did you leave your own name out?

Answer: I am quite insignificant. Of course, I too have done some work. Otherwise, I wouldn't be counted as a revolutionary.

Question: What we did not understand was: If the Gang of Four was, as you said, a minority with all the country against them, how could it happen that they were holding the whole country, including the veteran leaders? Was it because one of the four was the wife of Mao Zedong and the ties between Mao Zedong and her were so profound that no one dared to touch her?

Answer: This was one of the factors. As I've said, Chairman Mao made mistakes, one of which was using the Gang, letting them come to power. Also, the Gang had their own factional set-up and they built a clique of some size -- particularly they made use of ignorant young people as a front, so they had a fair-sized base.

Question: Was Mao Zedong blinded by her so that he wouldn't see what she was doing? And was she an adventuress like the Empress Dowager Yehonala?

Answer: Jiang Qing did evil things by flaunting the banner of Chairman Mao. But Chairman Mao and Jiang Qing lived separately for years.

Question: We didn't know that.

Answer: Jiang Qing did what she did by flaunting the banner of Chairman Mao, but he failed to intervene effectively. For this he should be held responsible. Jiang Qing is rotten through and through. Whatever sentence is passed on the Gang of Four won't be excessive. They brought harm to millions upon millions of people.

Question: How would you assess Jiang Qing? What score would you give her?

Answer: Below zero. A thousand points below zero.

Question: How would you assess yourself?

Answer: I would be quite content if I myself could be rated fifty-fifty in merits and demerits. But one thing I can say for myself: I have had a clear conscience all my life. Please mark my words: I have made quite a few mistakes, and I have my own share of responsibility for some of the mistakes made by Comrade Mao Zedong. But it can be said that I made my mistake with good intentions. There is nobody who doesn't make mistakes. We should not lay all past mistakes on Chairman Mao. So we must be very objective in assessing him. His contributions were primary, his mistakes secondary. We will inherit the many good things in Chairman Mao's thinking while at the same time explaining clearly the mistakes he made.

Born poor in a mud-hut village near Tikrit on April 28, 1937, Saddam was orphaned at a young age and raised by an uncle who idolised Adolf Hitler.

He overcame his impoverished roots and rose to Iraq's highest office, lived in the grandest of palaces, married three times and fathered six children.

In Arabic, his name means "the stubborn one" or "he who strikes".

His self-importance and cult of personality were legendary. On his 60th birthday he commissioned a copy of the Koran to be inscribed in his own blood.

Saddam also groomed two of his sons, Uday and Qusay, in his own image.

They became feared for their use of torture and rape rooms. They were killed during a firefight with US forces in the northern city of Mosul in July 2003.

Their father first made a name for himself by trying to murder Iraqi leader Abdul Karim Kassem in 1959.

Wounded in the leg, Saddam fled abroad but returned four years later and was jailed in 1964. Within two years he had escaped and resumed clandestine work for the Baath party.

In 1968 he took part in the coup that brought the party to power, marking another step in his affair with brute force.

As party deputy secretary general and vice president of the all-powerful Revolution Command Council (RCC), he was already considered the real power behind President Ahmed Hassan al-Bakr.

Bakr lost his grip over the next decade as Saddam strengthened his own, and the president finally retired for health reasons.

Saddam seized the mantle on July 16, 1979, becoming state president, general secretary of the party and president of the RCC.

In the years that followed, the modern Arab state labelled the cradle of civilisation became an impoverished pariah, its fabulous oil wealth squandered.

Saddam guided Iraq through a 1980-1988 bloodbath with Iran and the rout of the 1991 Gulf war over Kuwait, emerging each time to claim Pyrrhic victories over the corpses of his people.

He defied attempts through the United Nations to ensure his disarmament, the organisation's crushing sanctions and four nights of US and British missile strikes in December 1998.

Saddam extended frequent purges of senior figures to family and friends. Those who failed to make it into exile were detained, murdered and buried in the mass graves that have been uncovered across the country.

Since he first appeared in court in July last year, images of Saddam as a gaunt and greying prisoner have been splashed across the world - with some controversial photographs even showing him in just his underwear.

The now 69-year-old Arab nationalist, who once declared his determination to die at home and taunted enemies with outrageous bravado, was toppled days after the US-led invasion began in March 2003.

His massive statue in central Baghdad was pulled down on April 9, and nine months later Saddam was discovered, long-haired, bearded and bedraggled, in an underground crawlspace near Tikrit.

His ability to evade capture for so long was evidence of the profound influence he exerted over his people even after his ouster, as many ordinary Iraqis shrank from cooperating with the occupier for fear of Saddam's return.

But others saw him as a strong leader who rained inaccurate but psychologically damaging Scud rockets on Israel and at least briefly restored self-respect to the Arab nation.

But Saddam's reign ended in defeat, his ubiquitous gloating portraits torn down and destroyed after the occupation of his capital.

A lust for power matched by a ruthless streak had brought Saddam to the helm he determined never to leave, whatever the cost.

US soldiers who guarded him in prison told a US magazine last year that Saddam was an "oddly endearing crazy man" who still called himself the president and remained convinced the people still loved him.

Less than two years earlier, however, Iraqis called for his death when US civilian administrator Paul Bremer announced Saddam's capture to the world using the dramatic words "Ladies and gentlemen, we got him."

Today, Saddam finally learned what he must have known would be his inevitable due: death by hanging -- the fate of a convicted criminal in Iraq -- rather than his stated preference of the more honourable option of the firing squad, which is reserved for the Iraqi military.

H.E. Mr. Lu Guozeng,

　　Assistant Minister of Foreign Affairs of China,

　　Co-Chairperson of the Chinese Follow-up Committee of the Forum of China and Africa Cooperation.

　　Excellencies,

　　Ladies and Gentlemen,

　　As a Special Envoy of Ethiopia to China-Africa Cooperation Forum, the Co-Chair Country of the Forum, it is my distinct pleasure to extend, my warmest welcome to all delegates, and express my gratitude to the people and Government of the People's Republic of China, for the warm welcome and generous hospitality accorded to us. I would also like to pay tribute to our host for the excellent arrangements made for this meeting.

　　Since the First China Africa Ministerial Conference held in Beijing in 2000, the two sides have maintained frequent exchange of high level visits and consultations, which has been instrumental to laying a sound political foundation to further enhance and deepen the friendship and cooperation between them.

　　Moreover, following the Second Ministerial Conference held in Addis Ababa in 2003, the two sides have made relentless efforts to implement the Addis Ababa Action Plan adopted by the Ministerial Conference.

　　I am sure you will all agree with me that the Addis Ababa Action Plan constitutes a quantum leap forward towards a more effective implementation of the principles embodied in the Beijing Declaration and the Programme for China-Africa Cooperation in Economic and Social Development.

　　In this regard, I am happy to note that since the Second Ministerial Conference, important progress has been made in strengthening the cooperation existing between China and Africa. The steps taken by the Chinese Government concerning preferential treatment for some African products to have access to China's market is indeed an encouraging development. This step will, undoubtedly, make its own positive contribution in further strengthening China-Africa Cooperation and in making the terms of trade between the two sides favorable to Africa also. This is a potential, which will have to be utilized more in the following years by encouraging the two-way trade and its rapid development in a mutually advantageous manner. One must stress that far reaching possibilities are opening up for the peoples of Africa and China both from the private and public sectors and they should be encouraged to make use of the opportunity, which is being created by application of the preferential treatment.

　　One other area, which holds significant promise in the growing cooperation between China and Africa, is the human resources development field. In this connection, it is with a great sense of satisfaction that we note that China has paid special attention to the area. The setting up in China of the African Human Resources Development Fund is not only another testimony of China's resolve to implementing the Addis Ababa Action Plan, but is also a reflection of China's endeavor to laying the foundation for more sustained and more effective cooperation between China and Africa in this and other fields.

　　Excellencies,

　　We are of the view that development cannot be sustainable if the required skilled manpower is not available and if trained people are not involved in the activities of development programmes. We are also convinced that human resource development remains to be a major challenge for Africa in the years to come. In this regard, we believe that China's assistance in human resources development will play an instrumental role in the economic development of Africa.

　　I must add that the existing, friendly cooperation between China and Africa in various fields of development are indeed encouraging. It is noteworthy that China has been providing assistances to African countries in several important fields of development. Numerous progress have been undertaken by Chinese companies, in joint investment ventures, in many areas which have now become not only the symbol of friendship and cooperation between China and Africa, but also meaningful in terms of supporting the development endeavors of Africa.

　　Although the trade and investment relations between Africa and China have rapidly developed over the years, the volume of trade and investment still make up a small part of the total trade volume when compared to China's trade and investment relations with other regions. The cooperation in these areas, therefore, needs to be further promoted as a potential area for greater Sino-Africa Cooperation.

　　Excellencies,

　　Ladies and Gentlemen,

　　China is a beacon of hope for Africa. What we Africans could learn from China's successful and remarkable economic development in the past three decades is that, if the right domestic policies, coupled with peace and stability, are prevailing, it is possible to bring sustainable economic development to Africa also. It is our conviction that Africa's development endeavors need genuine partnership from countries like China whose development experiences are relevant to Africa's present day conditions. We believe that promoting Sino-Africa Cooperation through such exchange of experiences is very important. Therefore, it is essential that both China and Africa continue to enhance this form of cooperation for the mutual benefit of our peoples.

　　Excellencies,

　　Ladies and Gentlemen,

　　At this juncture, I would like to say that relations between Africa and China have always been excellent, and continue to grow. We have also managed to build ties that are marked by a great deal of mutual confidence and trust. We have therefore, as I said earlier, laid the foundation and the basis for these ties that can be even more durable and meaningful. It is nonetheless when the two sides are bound by strong economic and trade ties that we can have full confidence in the strength and durability of these ties. In today's globalizing world, economic cooperation is at the heart of relations between countries. It is the foundation, on which the entire edifice of relations has to be built. It's also for this reason that we feel we should make trade and economic ties the central elements in the relations between Africa and China.

　　Excellencies,

　　Ladies and Gentlemen,

　　In conclusion, as we all are aware the Senior Officials Meeting is entrusted with the task of reviewing the implementation of the Addis Ababa Action Plan and with the preparations of the agenda for the next Ministerial Conference which is scheduled to be held in 2006 in Beijing. I, therefore, wish to suggest to all participants to pay special attention to issues that will have significant impact in further enhancing the economic cooperation between China and Africa.

　　I wish you all a successful deliberation.

　　I thank you.




The creation of FOCAC


In the 21st century, maintaining peace, seeking stability and promoting development have become a shared aspiration of people of all countries. In order to further strengthen the friendly cooperation between China and Africa under the new circumstances, to jointly meet the challenge of economic globalization and to promote common development, and in light of suggestions of some African countries, the Chinese Government made the proposal on the convocation of the Forum on China-Africa Cooperation---Ministerial Conference Beijing 2000, which was positively responded to by the vast number of African countries.

"Last night, I glided through the clear sky of India and reflected myself in the Ganges. My rays struggled to force their way through the thick roof of old sycamore trees that arched beneath me like the shell of a tortoise. From the thicket, a Hindu maiden stepped out, graceful as a gazelle and beautiful as Eve. There was something truly spiritual, and yet material, about her, and I could even make out her thoughts beneath her delicate skin. The thorny liana plants tore her sandals, but she walked rapidly forward. The wild beasts that came up from the river after quenching their thirst fled away in fright, for the maiden held a lighted lamp in her hand. I could see the blood in the delicate fingers arched into a shield over the flame of the lamp. She walked down to the river, then placed the lamp on the surface, and it drifted away with the current. The flame flickered back and forth, as if it wanted to expire, but still it burned as the maiden's dark, sparkling eyes followed it, with a soulful gaze from beneath the long, silken lashes of her eyelids. She knew that if the lamp should burn as long as her eyes could follow it, her lover would still be alive; but if it went out, he would be dead. As the lamp burned and trembled, the heart of the maiden burned and trembled. She knelt and prayed. Beside her a deadly snake lurked in the grass, but she thought only of Brahma and of her bridegroom.

'He lives!' she shouted joyfully, and the echo answered from the mountains, 'He lives!' "

吴正丹简介：

　　24岁，广州军区战士杂技团二级演员，十届全国人大代表。她主演的《芭蕾对手顶―――东方的天鹅》获第五届全国杂技比赛金狮奖首奖、第26届摩纳哥蒙特卡罗国际杂技大赛最高奖―――金小丑奖、国家文化部颁发的文华表演奖、中国人民解放军八一大奖。

一只东方的天鹅在王子 肩上、头上、胳臂上翩翩起舞，以其一鸣惊人的美，征服了杂技同行，征服了专家，征服了观众，征服了世界，她的名字叫吴正丹。日前，在“三八”妇女节到来之际，她被广州市妇联授予“羊城十大杰出女性”称号。

　　24岁的吴正丹是十届全国人大代表，在她赴京参加两会之时，记者采访了她。问及她本次两会最关注什么，吴正丹说，最关注的是社会保障问题，希望老百姓生活幸福安康，经济社会能和谐发展。

　　天鹅展翅艺惊四座

　　吴正丹从小就要强，不服输。6岁进少儿体校，8岁进行艺术体操棍棒训练，12岁进入男女技巧训练，3年后和对手一起夺取了世界青年技巧对抗赛冠军。

　　17岁时，吴正丹从辽宁体委退役，来到闻名遐迩的战士杂技团，开始了她的人生新起点。训练，训练，再训练，她终于从默默无闻的丑小鸭变成了展翅高飞的白天鹅。

　　2000年4月至10月，她开始排练“头顶上的芭蕾”，大胆探索中国现代杂技艺术的发展道路。每天十几个小时的训练，腰伤复发，脚趾磨烂，疼痛钻心，但最让吴正丹难以忍受的是千百次的滑落，千百次的失败，千百次的彷徨。
天道酬勤，历经半年的磨难，艺惊四座的《东方天鹅》终于与世人见面了―――将芭蕾与杂技相结合，首创了足尖站肩、站头顶，完成“360度转体”、“单脚站头转体”、“单脚踹燕”等一系列高难度动作。杂技界震惊了，舞蹈界震惊了，舞协主席白玉湘说，我简直不敢相信自己的眼睛，在人的身体上轻盈地跳着芭蕾舞，杂技发展得太快了。

　　只要有一口气就要上

　　《东方天鹅》震惊世界，引起我国现代艺术家们的关注：以此为主线，能否将杂技排成百年闻名的大剧《天鹅湖》呢？全国著名导演赵明来了，唯一受聘于欧洲皇家芭蕾舞团的著名艺术家、跳了近千场《天鹅湖》的刘军来了，全国著名的灯光设计师、舞美设计师、服装设计师来了……吴正丹清楚，这是一次全新的挑战。让吴正丹感到开心的是，正在这时，她10年的合作伙伴、可敬可亲的师兄终于成了相识相知不离不弃的丈夫。有幸福相伴，她更有信心迎接新挑战了。2004年5月至9月，她沉迷在《天鹅湖》的音乐中、芭蕾课训中、技巧翻新的尝试中……

　　“杂技演员能跳出芭蕾舞演员的感觉吗？”这种质疑，又一次激起了吴正丹不服输的劲，她反复琢磨，反复训练，到了痴迷的程度。可就在她看到成功的曙光时，不幸笼罩住她。长期的超负荷训练，引起了腰伤、骨伤，右脚红肿。2004年9月12日，中国杂技《天鹅湖》第一次出演，当天下午3点，吴正丹的左脚跟腱落下两块小骨头，剧痛难忍。

　　离演出只有4个小时了，眼看着4个月的努力可能付之东流，从不掉泪的吴正丹嚎啕大哭。剧团党委一方面从广州请来著名骨伤专家救治，一方面做好吴正丹不能上场的应急准备。开演还有10分钟，团长再次来到正在治疗的吴正丹跟前问：“丹丹，怎么样了？”

　　吴正丹倔犟地回答：“只要有一口气，我就得上。放心吧！”用冰袋，打封闭，大幕拉开，音乐响起，吴正丹强打精神忍着疼痛，含泪上场。没有人能看出她与以往的演出有什么不同。在雷鸣般的掌声中谢幕，她奇迹般地成功了。医生望着吴正丹被人扶走的背影，感叹地说：“骨头都掉下来了，还能完成这么高难度的演出，今晚我亲眼看到了一位巾帼英雄。”

　　为战士演出最难忘

　　成名之后，有的文艺团体提出给别墅、汽车，给200万元让吴正丹夫妇跳槽，他俩当听笑话一听了之。有的演出商私下出高价让他俩去演出，价位高得让人心动。吴正丹顶住了各种诱惑，没接受一次私下演出，没拿过一分钱的额外收入，却完成了国家和军队安排的几百场演出，观众遍及世界。一些人不理解，吴正丹说：“钱少一些可以慢慢挣，但心灵之美不可一日无光。”

　　多年来，吴正丹的演出场地遍及军内外、国内外，北京人民大会堂、上海大剧院、美国肯尼迪艺术中心、法国香舍丽尔大剧院、德国马戏大棚……她对每一场演出都投入极大的热情，对每一位观众都注入了自己的真情。当问到吴正丹哪一次演出让她印象最深刻，她动情地告诉记者是下部队演出，战士们热烈的掌声和口号声时常是绕梁三日，在耳旁久久不散……
认同与感谢

　　记者：作为杂技艺术家，你的艺术追求是什么？吴正丹：永不舍弃对艺术完美的追求。我特别在乎观众的认同，评委的评议只是一时，观众的认同才是永远。

　　记者：你认为你的迅速成长与什么有关？

　　吴正丹：我庆幸来到了战士杂技团这座艺术殿堂，在这个集体中，我的战友们用肩、用头、用血汗把我顶起来了。我从心里感谢他们！

　　珍惜与追求

　　记者：你取得成功最重要的一点是什么？

　　吴正丹：我有幸遇到了一生的知己魏葆华，从师兄到亲密合作伙伴，再到不离不弃的爱人。每一次的训练，我都像个搅肉机，磨烂了他的肩、磨破了他的头，可他忍着，默默陪我完成训练计划。我一定会好好珍惜我们的事业和家庭。

　　记者：你这么年轻就已功成名就，今后的艺术道路怎么走？吴正丹：当今时代人才辈出，在我追求艺术的道路上，我遇到了不断帮助我进步的领导和老师，我遇到了喜欢我的观众，他们的意见和批评成为我不断前进的动力，“戏比天大”，我将不断创新，为基层官兵服务，为人民服务。《华南新闻》 (2006年03月08日 第三版)

　　天鹅为什么这样美


　　24岁的吴正丹，以一出中国杂技《芭蕾对手顶———东方的天鹅》摘取了第五届全国杂技比赛金狮奖首奖、第26届摩纳哥蒙特卡罗国际杂技大赛最高奖———金小丑奖、国家文化部颁发的文华表演奖、中国人民解放军八一大奖，她因此而成为展翅飞上杂技艺术巅峰的皎皎天鹅。

　　这是一只绝美的天鹅，千百次的跌落，千百次的跃起，千百次的痛创，千百次的挣扎，终于腾飞出令世界称奇的姿态。

　　这是一只纯美的天鹅，不为利所趋，不为诱所惑，一颗追求完美艺术的心，执著地丰满着艺术的羽翼。

　　这还是一只凄美的天鹅，在这个“丑小鸭”变“白天鹅”的故事里，我们看到“白天鹅”美足下支撑着的痛与爱的奉献。

　　美，动人心魄的美，绝不单单是形式，而是有实实在在的内涵支撑着。天鹅为什么这样美？吴正丹给我们演示的正是一个感人的答案。

　　
第一章 其其

　　2004年北京，二月的傍晚，风吹到脸上仿佛带着春意，我和一个女孩儿走着走着，莫名地心中一荡，笑容消失了。我忘了这是第几次突然想起她。她第二次离开了我，至今已经四天音信皆无。我翻书，找人，看DVD，有生以来我只体会过两次这样的沮丧，另一次是她第一次离开我。她叫其其，是个在芝加哥定居的北京女孩儿。
　　两年前，我拍的一些照片在北京的前卫艺术圈里开始展露头脚。当其其在我的摄影展上悄悄打量我，惴惴不安地最终走向我时，我心中一荡。长发，长腿，她有种不同于内地女孩的新鲜气质。
　　当晚我在灯下修片，电话铃响的时候我几乎是一跃而起。在她第二天飞回芝加哥之前我们没时间见面了，电话里我们像是即将久别的亲人。我相信任何两个能够“一见如故”的人，都曾在前世留下未了的缘。
　　接下来的大半年我们通了无数的Email和电话，恋情以光速发展着。她成熟独立而心地仍然纯洁，成了我生活的希望，那时候我做梦都能笑出声来。终于等到下一个年假，她飞到北京看我，在机场我们快活地拥抱了半天。
　　九天的好日子开始了，我首先为住的问题松了口气，她来之前就自己订好了酒店双人房间。我带上全部存款迎接这场爱情艳遇。我们总是拼命争抢付钱的机会，看到我真急了她才罢手。她的几口箱子里装了无数的大小礼物。那年冬天，我像个暴发户。
　　北京好些地方我都没去过，我们跟外地游客一样天天逛公园。两天后我全身心深深地爱上了她，心脏好多年都没这么剧烈跳过，多少次我抱着她，在她耳根轻轻说“我真想把你吃了”。女人的美丽是最好的催情剂，漂亮本身就是一种气质，像大自然一样不可分析。我给她拍了好多照片，她也每天精心打扮自己，内衣，外衣，发型，饰物天天都变。有一天我突然楞住了：我没有能力给她买这些衣服和首饰，我们像来自两个世界的人偶然交汇在一点上。
　　意识到自己一无所有，在可预见的将来也看不到大的起色，我心口像挨了一拳，一瞬间对艺术都产生了质疑。后几天我很本色，在饭桌上她纳闷地问我为什么变得沉默，我说我习惯一个人呆着。她追问我作品的含义，我低着头沉默不语。九天假期的最后一个下午我开始伤感，弄得气氛很干。我们沉默地收拾行李，沉默地吃饭。回到酒店她变了脸。突然意识到可能失去她了，我一下子慌了，苯嘴拙舌地表白……
　　终于言归于好，擦干眼泪，我们重新拥抱。她执意要给我留一些美元，被我坚决地挡回去了，一个女孩子在外面独立生活不容易，我又能为她做什么呢。我抱着她入睡，不停地说着温柔的话。想到明天此刻怀抱中又将是空空荡荡，我难过得舍不得关灯。
　　她离开后我才明白我的处境，这个无意间来到我生活中的女孩子把我彻底打败了。她的漂亮整洁，独立的内心世界，还有来自西方世俗社会的一套威严都让我震撼！我尝到了她和爱情的厉害。

　
第二章 我

　　我小时候喜欢画画，高中毕业后在我们那儿的县电影院画了四年的海报。每次我抡着刷子站在梯子上画画总有好多人围观，在当地还有点儿名。日复一日，大家都这么安心地过着日子，可我知道我的生活在别处，它正离我越来越远。我心里焦急，脾气越发敏感暴戾，直到我的同学最终考上了北京的中央美术学院，我才有所悟，仓皇下了决心。没多久便提着画箱子来到北京，伟大祖国的心脏。
　　我不愿意拖累谁，最苦的时候我睡过公园和公共汽车，在美院噌课之余，我做过不同的工，两年里辗转搬过四次家才相对安定下来。后来我每月给三家杂志做编辑，一家报社做见习摄影师，经济上有了保证，开始更多想起我的绘画梦。北京做艺术的圈子很多，最吸引我的是前卫艺术圈，只有这里的思维是相对前沿的，活跃的。我在通县艺术家村安了家，和初衷不同的是，我迷上了摄影。
　　有一阵子我为北京日新月异的变化而心潮澎湃，每天背着报社的相机奔走于北京的大街小巷。我拍了多组以《脸》命名的城市肖像，几年来我记录了北京的成长，在几个重点拆迁地反复拍下他们新的面貌。温情的，震撼的画面承载着我的心绪。这组作品一下子出了名，在不同城市的重要艺术展都展出过。
　　世界上总有我们这些物质上的贫困者，幻想着制造精神上的奢侈品。走荒凉的路，告诉自己这一切是为美术史而不是为最大的人群而做。别以为搞“艺术”的都是疯子，这个游戏发展到今天，理性更胜一筹，观念决定一切。然而在爱情这条河里，我理性的帆落入水中，不能再发挥作用。
　　这次就让自己沦陷，进入深层的生活。我珍惜当爱情降临时人的非“常态”状态，人的一部分脱离了地面，和神接近了。这时的人充满希望，几乎无所不能。这是每个人一生中产生质变，提升自己的大好时机。我想整个人生不是追求幸福，而是追求某种“提升”。像昆虫褪壳一样一次次带着自己离开。做人执着于追求幸福的目的，就怎么做都失败。世事洞明之后的天真豁达倒是离幸福最近，也因此把幸福看得更透。
　　我住的平房有蚂蚁出没，有时我用樟脑球在地上画一个圈，看着它们在圈里转，直到数天后樟脑的味道散去，它们才各自逃出圈外。我用镜头对准它们的时候渐渐联想到自己，幸灾乐祸的笑也凝固了。
　　我拍了好多组蚂蚁脸部特写，再放大多倍，最终的画面让我大吃一惊！我从没见过蚂蚁巨大无比的眼睛！那里面反射出我和身后的城市，一切都那么小，而且扭曲变了形。我看到在它们眼中，地球这个小星球带着千疮百孔的伤口，由一群白色的人类小生物主宰。原来我们只有一种视角，自我为中心的，近距离的观察视角，那就是我们大，蚂蚁小。而存在的奥秘中，其它的生物有它们自己的时间系统和视角。在那儿，无限的某些方面显示了出来。
　　这个夏天的午后，我站在静静的后院中央，有一种震撼在心里。我能感觉到头顶上空有远比我们博大的智慧，有无数种思维方式和生活态度，而我可能要用一生时间去领会其中的一两种，因此永远会有很多局限和不解。我觉得这群小生物脑子里能承载的思想实在是有限，并非像他们自己一厢情愿相信的：比天空海洋更广阔。这组怪异的照片辗转刊登在德国一本权威的艺术新闻杂志上，引起了小小的轰动。之后两个德国策划人来到北京通县我的家中看作品。蚂蚁给我带来了好运。
　　那时候哥们儿都知道我“抄”上一个特别棒的女朋友，还传言我发了洋财，有两画画儿的哥们儿跟了我一个月，到饭点儿就来，追得我上窜下跳到处乱躲，最后我急了：“我他妈哪儿有钱呀？”
　　我并不爱钱，我只是爱“正常”。没钱就不能过正常的日子，好好的人会变得发酸，变得逃避人群。在世俗的日子里，我向往“正常”。我想结婚了，她不愿到北京生活，也没下定决心把我办出去并开始终其一生的婚姻。我能理解，但不能接受。几个月下来事情未果，两个人都心存芥蒂，烦躁之下有了越来越多的电话冲突。直到有一天，一场冲动的争吵之后她突然要和我分手。
　　一把钝剑刺穿了我的心。我斟字酌句地写了两封Email，不能说服她回心转意，打了几次电话对方不接听。男人的自尊不允许我再做什么。剩下的只是躺在床上，大口喘着气对自己说这一关我过不去了。白天一个哥们儿过来陪我，掰着手指头帮我一遍一遍分析这件事，他说我未必真正了解她，或许她只把这儿当作度假胜地，甚至怀疑她已经结婚了，况且国外的生活并不适合本土艺术家。晚上我没自杀，只求入睡，最后一次看表是凌晨三点……当蚂蚁用巨钟般的嗓音问话时我没有奇怪：“你的幸福是什么？”我想了想说：“有钱有爱情……。”
　　接下来的三天我心乱如麻，如果她这时候回来，我愿意此生只为她的快乐而活。第六天我想如果她这时候回来，我生生世世都感激她的恩德。第九天，时间如同过了三个月，我心力衰竭依然爱她如一，虽然她已错过了回来的最好时机。一个如此轻易就背信弃义的女孩儿不应该得到这样刻骨铭心的爱。经过无数次的彻悟，我绝望了。我得重新面对现实。
　　然而第十天，邮箱里静静地出现了她的Email。
　　我执迷于这一刻带给我的恍惚，久久不愿打开。过了几秒又慌忙打开，稀里糊涂地扫到最后几行，终于看到：“我为什么还这么爱你？”
　　之后的两年我们一直深深地相爱，她又陆续利用年假来了几次。我脾气改善了很多，但我是个活在自我世界里的人，那里有些无法企及的“暗礁”。时常被一种生命深处的忧虑弄得自己心烦意乱，脾气暴躁。尽管伤害了对方，却在心里企求她的温柔治疗。可她恰恰不能忍受，这时候不是反唇相讥就是冷着脸不说话，有时候能一连僵持好几天。我们相互怨恨，尽管有无比美好的愿望，还是经常浪费宝贵的相聚时间。
　　安静的时候我想，恋爱常会遭遇尴尬。如获至宝的光鲜相遇，华服褪去之后，是两个互相乞讨的乞丐，各自把空碗伸向对方，伸向永恒的方向。如果你想通过爱情获得幸福，安全感，自信心，等等等等，那么这个起点就已经注定了你的乞丐身份，注定了你的不幸福。
　　这期间我拍了些纯个人体验的小品，其中的一组是《苹果肖像》，输入电脑中加上了绘画的部分，最后组成十张一组的超现实画面：一只好苹果爱上一只病苹果的同时，也不得不接近了他的虫子，好苹果经常挨虫子咬，结果也长出了虫子……“有时候我是一只无力自拔的坏苹果”，我把《苹果肖像》发给其其时说。
　　我曾话里话外暗示过很多次，爱我也包括爱我的缺点，要容忍我偶尔的脾气。直到下一刻我认识到：既然爱她也就包括爱她的缺陷，例如“不能容忍我的脾气”。
　　这些都是以前的点滴，四天前我们在机场分手，这本是一次和谐的团聚，然而在最后一分钟竟然为着无畏的琐事吵了小小的一架，去机场的路上彼此一言不发。告别时我没下车，回到空荡荡的家我就忍不住发了一封Email。
　　今天是她离开的第五天了，仍然音信皆无。籍着爱情得到的安全和幸福，有一天它会加倍地拿回去。我出了门四处乱走，然后在算命的那儿抽到了上上签。
　　回到家我用数码相机拍下了此刻自己的脸，连同一封Email一起发给她。我真诚地道歉，请求她给我写个只言片语。哪怕是分手，我也要她看着我的眼睛说。


第三章 转机

　　没有人相信，一只蚂蚁的视角会改变人的命运。天知道像蚂蚁这种巨大的生物要非常注意自己的呼吸，1962年墨西哥湾附近发生的巨大台风就是大蚂蚁疏忽了自己的呼出的气息，事故发生之后它开始练习控制，直到能够仔细调整每一股“飓风”的方向。
　　第二天我去城里洗照片，一场来历不明的“飓风”，奇迹般地光临了北京很多街道，所幸没有人员伤亡。神秘的是：这些街道有不少是我的城市肖像《脸》系列拍摄过的对象，一下子《脸》成了绝版的珍贵纪念。这12组照片的版权全部卖掉了，折合人民币八十六万。我买了车，把家重新装修了，这件事进一步确立了我在圈子中的地位。
　　此刻的芝加哥正值傍晚，有一个痛苦的女孩儿受到冥冥中神秘的召唤，悄悄走到窗前，打量着清凉的夜空。
　　不久，一件神奇的事情在她心里发生了。
　　第二天，全新的一天，一切似乎都不一样了。


第四章 病之城

　　与此同时还有一件事，地球上一座不知名的城市发生了一场毁灭性的瘟疫，只剩下两只幸存的苹果，其中一只长了虫子。他们很相爱，但有时坏苹果里面的虫子会突然跳出来，去羞辱那只好苹果。愤怒的毒液侵蚀着好苹果，不久她也长出了虫子。从此两只苹果天天较劲，彼此充满了恨意。
　　可怕的是：他们分不清那些伤害彼此的坏事是虫子做的，还是他们自己做的。
　　终于有一天，一件神奇的事情发生了。原先的好苹果猛然看到天幕中有一道洞悉一切的目光，平和而充满期望。她惊讶得屏住了呼吸，往事像潮水一样纷纷涌上来，她看到两个贫瘠软弱的灵魂在共同走向毁灭。这一瞬间她明白了：有一个“坏”苹果就够了，她不应该再去做另外一只坏苹果。为了“幸福”这个永恒的方向，她必须承担起责任：首先让自己恢复，并以最大的决心和努力保持自己的健康。
　　这是在爱情之外需要终生培养的品质。借助这道神光，她把爱人看得清清楚楚，在他暴躁敏感的脾气和难以相处的表皮之下，是一颗战战兢兢的脆弱的核，一个渴望得到她安抚的灵魂。
　　其实从来不存在一个“好苹果”，它们都有病。造成痛苦的根源是：它们都互相以为对方是好苹果，各自带着自己的地狱投奔对方的天堂，失望之后他们不知所措相互埋怨。她突然厌恶透了这种互相推委的做派，于是毫不犹豫地伸出手，挖去了自己身上腐烂的肉和里面的虫子。疼痛几乎使她丧命，但她还来得及意识到：世上有些事情，是无论多难都值得去做的。
　　感动的泪水经过的地方，伤口愈合了。


第五章 结局

　　二月的傍晚，风吹到脸上仿佛带着春意。这几天由于气温转暖，朝阳公园的灯会吸引了不少游人。天色渐渐暗了，这些大型的灯市显得非常漂亮，具有浓郁的社会主义乡土特色。
　　我和通县几个哥们儿来拍夜景，为一个新的DV短片准备资料。今天是情人节，人群中有不少拿着玫瑰的幸福女孩儿，沉浸在各自的情爱中。
　　贯穿我青春时代的每一次情爱都始于需要和寄托，现在我开始相信爱情的奥秘在于自足和给予，如果自己不是自己的天堂，爱就是这世上最艰难的事情。

有一个教授做了这样一个试验，他把一个跳蚤放在玻璃杯中，上面盖上一块玻璃板，跳蚤在杯中跳起来就会撞在玻璃板上掉下去，它又跳起来就又撞在玻璃板上掉下去。我现在请你们判断一下，这只跳蚤会不会一直这样跳下去直到撞死为止。不会的，因为碰撞使它痛苦，它就要改变行为，因为痛苦而改变行为，这就叫学习力，学习力等于适应力，等于竞争力，等于生存力，也等于生命力，人不能学习的时候就老了。这只跳蚤具有学习力，它在跳了几次之后，就不跳了。教授把玻璃板拿走，你们判断这只跳蚤会不会从玻璃杯中跳出来？不会，因为它知道跳起来就要被撞下，它不跳了。又有另一个教授做了相同的试验，他把跳蚤放在一个长长的试管当中，上面塞了一个活塞，跳蚤跳起来就会撞在活塞上，教授不断压低活塞，跳蚤跳的高度就不断降低，最后活塞几乎紧紧地挨在跳蚤身上，它只要一伸腿就会撞在活塞上，这只跳蚤就趴在试管底部一动不动。过了一会，教授把跳蚤从试管中取出，大家判断一下，这只跳蚤会跳吗？不会跳，它已经不会跳了，跳蚤变成了“趴蚤”。大家想一想，这个试验揭示了什么道理？它至少揭示了以下道理：习惯是可以改变的，习惯是养成的，养成习惯的过程是不舒服的，克服了不舒服就养成了习惯，养成了习惯就实现了超越。

　　我现在问你们，对于第一个试验，你用什么办法可以使跳蚤从玻璃杯中跳出来？有人说，可以用火烧烤杯子，可以用棍子捅它，也可以再放进一只新跳蚤，新跳蚤不懂规矩会跳，老跳蚤就会被带动跳出来，总之是施加外力的结果，所以改变习惯需要施加外力。外力有几类呢？有一个故事是说，唐宋八大家之一的苏轼，把三个人领到一个山涧边上，对三个人说，谁能跳过这个山涧，我就承认他胆子最大。其中一个人想，跳过这个山涧就能得到苏轼的承认，一努力跳过了来，他得到了苏轼的赞美；剩下两人不跳，苏轼拿出一块金子对两人说，谁能跳过来我就给谁金子，其中一个人想，人为财死，鸟为食亡，一努力也跳过来了，他得到了苏轼的金子；最后一个人想，金子虽可贵，生命价更高，我要是跳不过去摔死了怎么办，我不跳，正当他这样想的时候，突然发现身后有一头老虎正盯着他，老虎发现山涧边只剩下一个人了，可以吃他了，就要扑过去，这个人吓得一使劲也跳过来了。大家判断一下，使这三个人行为发生变化的原因可以分成几类？尽量往少说，往根子上说。

　　我们要透过表象看本质，读书之道在于悟。一个人运作事情需要三种储备，知识、经验和智慧。知识是如何得到的？传授、读书；经验是如何得来的？体验；智慧是如何得来的？悟出来的。有知识不等于有智慧。有一个故事是这样说得的，有一个老头对一个博士说，一个聋哑人到杂货铺买剪刀，聋哑人用两根手指不停地跟老板比划，老板终于明白了，他要买剪刀。博士，我问你，如果一个瞎子来买锤子，他应该怎么比划呀？博士毫不犹豫地说，应该这样比划（向下挥拳），老头说，你真是一个博士，他说买锤子就行了，这是一个笑话。

　　使人行为发生变化的原因，最极端的分类是一类，就是欲望。人如果没有欲望，就成为行尸走肉。产生欲望的力量有两个，恐惧和诱因，前两个人因为诱因而跳，最后一个人因为恐惧而跳。

　　有一个试验叫“舍”，让你写出对你最重要的六个人和物，有人写，先生（太太）、孩子、父亲、母亲、健康、金钱。然后让你舍弃一个，舍弃是很痛苦的，有人舍弃了金钱，再让你舍弃一个，有人舍弃了健康，再让你舍弃一个……，最后只能剩一个，有人剩下的是孩子，有人剩下的是先生（太太），这个试验太残酷了，很多人都哭了。一个人可以不为任何利诱所动，但会害怕失去。

　　使人行为发生变化的原因，一般而言分两类，诱因和恐惧，也叫胡萝卜加大棒，正激励和负激励。

　　自己加给自己力量叫自制，别人加给自己的力量叫他制。他制听上去没有刺激性，我用被制一词，如果你不能自己治理自己，你就被制，就残酷了。北京交通局副局长毕玉玺，十年受贿1千万，被判了死缓，他在电视上对着公众痛哭流涕，他只看到了诱因，没看到恐惧，全家人都陷进去了，全家人都惨了。

　　外力是怎么加上来的？教育是最好的投资，培训是最好的福利，知识是最好的礼物。一个人一次接受教育，可以长期享受带来的回报。

　　大家都是建设银行北京市分行的中层领导，虽然不在树顶上，但是上下都能看见，要开心地看。我给大家传播的这些思想，你知道我研究多少年了？我从2000年开始研究，2003年才开始向外输出，清华大学在这个项目上，有形的投入是100万，当时在自然基金的压力下，我绞尽脑汁悟出了这些道理，你们用一天的时间就获取了我们项目组共同努力3年才得到的知识，所以说培训是快速获取知识的途径。那些民营企业家从天南海北来到清华大学，每天听课费1000元，才能听到我讲的这些道理。他们每人眼睛都瞪得溜圆，耳朵都竖起来，生怕漏了一个字。我到外地去讲课，他们都坐在第一排。

　　为什么说知识是最好的礼物？知识能送给人思想，思想决定行动，行动决定习惯，习惯决定性格，性格决定命运。一个人很复杂，但也很简单，简单到给他一个思想，只要他认同这个思想，他就会行动，行动就会养成习惯。

　　我们都有职业习惯。银行家看任何人都是客户，警察看任何人都像小偷，海关官员看任何人都像走私犯。前不久，广西桂林一家银行的一个女柜员出问题了，别人取款2000元，她付给人家20000元，晚上一结帐，短款18000元，怀疑给了那个人了。找到那个人，那人不承认，很快注销帐户跑了，拿出当天录像一看，图像模糊不清，这个官司最后上了电视，在电视上这个柜员说，我知道我早晚要出事。她很可怜，但也可恨，明知道自己有毛手毛脚的习惯，又是从事银行前台工作，怎么就不早改呢？可怜之人必有可恨之处。

　　要改变行动，先改变思想，思想变了人就变。有一个寓言故事是这样说的，有一只小猫，是一只小女猫，它爱上了它的男主人——一个光棍汉，想嫁给他。小猫于是找到了爱神维纳斯，请求爱神把它变成一个女人。在它的哀求下，维纳斯动了恻隐之心，用神通把它变成了一个美女，男主人和她结婚了。新婚之夜维纳斯想，这个女人是猫变的，她内心是人还是猫呢？我要试她一下。维纳斯就在房间里放进了一只小老鼠，美女看见了老鼠，毫不犹豫地扑上去吃老鼠。维纳斯明白了，美女骨子里还是一只猫，因为她改变不了吃老鼠的习惯，维纳斯就把美女又变回了小猫。这个寓言故事告诉了我们什么呢？它揭示我们，思维模式的转变才是根本的转变，一个人的思想如果是“狼”，那他一定会“吃人”。

　　如何才能转变人的思维模式呢？我们用开发情商的方法。情商就是人认识情绪和管理情绪的能力。牛津词典对情绪的定义：心灵、感觉或感情的激动或骚动，泛指任何激越或兴奋的心理状态。

　　人的情绪很多，可以分成若干族。和愤怒有关的有：生气、愤恨、发怒、不平、烦躁、敌意、暴力；和恐惧有关的有：焦虑、惊恐、紧张、关切、慌乱、忧心、警觉、疑虑、恐惧症；和快乐有关的有：如释重负、满足、幸福、愉悦、骄傲、兴奋、狂喜；和爱有关的有：认可、友善、信赖、和善、亲密、挚爱、宠爱、痴恋；和惊讶有关的有：震惊、惊讶、惊喜、叹为观止；和厌恶有关的有：轻视、轻蔑、讥讽、排斥；和羞耻有关的有：愧疚、尴尬、懊悔、耻辱。

　　现在我请你们判断一下，羡慕这个情绪向下发展会变成什么？会变成妒忌；妒忌这个情绪向下发展会变成什么？会变成憎恨；憎恨这个情绪向下发展会变成什么？会变成陷害。羡慕这个情绪向下发展的次序是：羡慕→妒忌→憎恨→陷害。

　　现在我再请你们判断一下，羡慕这个情绪向上发展会变成什么？变成亲近；亲近向上发展变成什么？会变成学习；学习向上发展变成什么？会变成超越。羡慕这个情绪向上发展的次序是：羡慕→亲近→学习→超越。能够把自己的情绪向上发展的人是高情商的人。

　　羡慕变成亲近，亲近有知识的人你就不缺知识。我的老师很多是国内外大学的一流老师，他们讲课都讲到这样的程度，一句废话、一个废字也没有，最后一个字吐出口的时候，正是下课铃响的时候。我们这种老师讲不到这种程度，所以学校就把我们送出国培训。我到了哈佛大学才发现，老师上课的时候很自由，可以讲故事，开玩笑，下讲台走一走，找学生聊聊天，甚至可以坐在讲台或学生的桌子上。我明白了，原来老师可以这样讲课，这就叫靠近有知识的人，你就变得有自信。在他面前我们不自信，回国就不一样了，回国就说，我到哈佛大学进修过。大家很羡慕出国进修，但不知道是怎么进修的，我们都在最后一排甚至是在角落里坐着呢，不敢往前坐害怕被提问，老师提问的时候就把头趴在桌子上。卡耐基说，一个人成功需要三个步骤：为成功的人做事，同成功的人共事，用成功的人办事。先给成功的人当秘书，打下手，接下来跟他一起共事，最后用他为我做事。卡耐基的一个打字员跑到中国注册了一个公司，叫中国卡耐基培训基地，然后卡耐基就被他请来为中国人讲课，这就是用成功人做事。

　　大家都羡慕老总手中的权，老板兜里的钱，看到他们出席各种高档宴会，为开幕剪彩，无限风光。我告诉你们，他们的烦恼更多，他们的内心感受是如坐针毡，如履薄冰，诚惶诚恐，忐忑不安，常常有盲人骑瞎马，夜半临深池的感觉。你会问这些人在企业中已经爬到树顶上了，这么会有这样的感觉呢？因为他们爬到树顶上一看，还有很多树都比他们的树高，他们在树顶上的时候，鸟过来欺负一下，风一吹树枝就动，顶上的树枝又细，弄不好折了就掉下来了，想往上爬还没有树枝可抓，很痛苦。

　　一些研究结果显示，人的成功商数可以概括为智商、情商和逆境商，英文分别为IQ、EQ和AQ，合称3Q，它们对成功的贡献率分别是15％，80％和5％。智商使人发现机会，情商使人利用机会，逆境商使人不轻易放弃机会。

　　智商包括内智力和外智力，内智力包括注意力、记忆力、观察力、理解力、想象力、推理力、思考力、洞察力、内省力、创造力。外智力包括知识、经验、技能。

　　逆境商包括信念、自信心、意志力、容挫力、乐观性。逆境商高的人在艰难困苦的情况下，能看到未来的希望，越挫越勇。毛泽东就是具有高度逆境商的典范，他以其坚定的信念，大无畏的革命勇气，塑造了无数的追随者，缔造了新中国。

　　有一个人力资源总监来清华大学进修，下课后对我说，吴老师，我是企业的人力资源总监，但我最讨厌和人打交道。让一个不喜欢和人打交道的人当人力资源总监，老板首先错了，他自己也错了。干一个自己不喜欢的工作就是自寻烦恼。一个人选择职业有三个标准：兴趣、能力和回报。红塔集团给我发了一封电子邮件，讲的是集团公关接待科有一个老资格的人，应该提拔他当副科长了，但他说话太损，常常是一句话就把同事撞到南墙上，把客户噎得半天喘不过气。到了32岁他才结婚，半年后就离婚了。红塔集团问我，这个人有什么毛病？你们说这个人有什么毛病？这个人内心阴暗、潮湿，他积累使人厌恶的话，喜欢出口伤人。我给他们出的主意是，让他多练习情商与影响力，三个月后如果没有变化，说明这个人不能和人打交道，只能和设备打交道，让他开叉车。

　　今天中午的时候，在座的一个朋友给我发了一个短信，信上说，阳光心态非常好，但我周围有人是月光心态，出尔反尔、忽冷忽热、忽云忽雨，我还不能改变他。你告诉我们不能改变他人就改变自己，那我们不都成了月光心态了吗？这个朋友提的问题相当漂亮。你让月光心态的那个人赶紧来听我的课。如果他翻云覆雨又具有一定的影响力，说明他占据领导岗位，他的下属将无所适从，团队业绩就会差，长此以往被拿下的可能是他而不是你。上级选择干部，都要征求群众意见，你具有阳光心态，可能就被推上去。我今天下午一直处于回答你的问题的状态，请你注意听，对照分析。

　　月光心态的人情绪稳定性差，忽冷忽热，忽云忽雨。有人说，我这人是刀子嘴、豆腐心，但是我告诉大家，这样的人亏透了，你的刀子嘴别人知道，你的豆腐心别人不知道。这种人自制力较差，发完火就后悔，后完悔又发火。有一个部门经理跟我说，吴老师，我就经常发火，发完火后觉得不应该发火，决心不再发火了，但是遇到事情搂不住火又发了，总改不了，真是江山易改，秉性难移。我问他，你经常跟谁发火？是跟市长发火吗？他说，市长巴结还巴结不上呢，没有火。我又问，你跟老板发火吗？他说，有火也不敢发。我又问，那你跟谁发火？他说，我跟下属发火。我听了以后隆重地表扬了他，告诉他，你这个人自制力相当强，该发火的时候发火，不该发火的时候绝对不发，谁不知道找软柿子捏！如果有足够的力量，别说你的性格、情绪，就连跳蚤也能变成“趴蚤”！我告诉他，江山易改却难改，本性难移却可移。广东中山市有一个做医药生意的赖老板，脾气很大，发现下属工作有缺点常常把下属骂个狗血喷头。老板说，这件事情听清楚了吗？下属回答，听清楚了，其实下属没听清楚但不敢问。老板说，听清楚了还不赶紧去做。老板交待事情不清楚，下属没听明白，工作自然就办不好。下属去汇报工作，还没走进老板的办公室，腿就哆嗦，也不敢说话。老板一看，不高兴了，说你怎么变得像傻子一样？人在压力下往往变得愚蠢，下属在上级的高压下会变傻。赖老板听了我的课后，明白了，他说，今后我再想对下属发火的时候，就想象他是我的市长。现在这个企业变得非常优秀，原因是赖老板不发火了，说话变得柔和了，下属敢说话了，敢提建议和意见了，事情就变得美好了。

　　一家银行推出了一个投资储蓄，利息比定期存款高，柜员劝说储户把钱转存投资储蓄，储户说好啊，柜员说签合同吧，合同第一条写着风险自担，最后一条写着不许悔改。储户不知道有什么风险，就签吧，签完字后20万就划进去了。回家后经明白人指点，什么是风险自担啊，本钱要是弄没了怎么办啊？储户一听吓坏了，找银行悔改。就是半小时之前的事情，银行柜员说，不行啦，钱已经划过去了。储户像疯了一样和柜员吵起来。储户不知道有什么风险，解释权又在银行，这不是蒙储户吗？

　　情商包括乐群性、稳定性、恃强性、兴奋性、有恒性、敢为性、敏感性、怀疑性、幻想性、世故性、忧虑性、实验性、独立性、自律性、紧张性共十五条特性。恃强性指的是找到自己的强点，坚强地站起来；兴奋性指的是容易进入状态；有恒性指的是坚持一贯；敢为性指的是敢作敢为，不瞻前顾后；敏感性指的是对别人的情绪变化、需求敏感；怀疑性指的是经常提出问题；幻想性指的是喜欢想象，世界是被想象力推动的；世故性指的是知道的很多；忧虑性指的是知道、躲避自己的弱点；实验性指的是动手能力强；独立性指的是有人陪伴开心，没人陪伴高兴；紧张性指的是遇到急迫的事情能够紧张起来；自律性指的是自我约束能力强，定力强。北京有个定慧寺，因定而生慧。

　　如果你的上级是月光心态，你也没必要无奈，有一天你可以把他叫出来，注意周围一定要没人，硬着头皮豁出去，把你的意见直率地告诉他。我告诉你，他绝不会记你的仇，找茬开除你，反而会把你当成他的好朋友。他会说，你真够意思，我有这么大的毛病，从来没人敢说，我还以为自己挺好呢，然后他就会提拔你当他的助理。当然这样做的前提是，他是一个想进步、想发展的人。

　　一个人前半生取决于智商，后半生取决于情商。保定印钞厂分来了三个大学生，工作一段时间后，一个精神分裂了，一个神经衰弱了，一个跳槽了。我把这个消息告诉清华大学的党委副书记，有三个大学生出事了。他说，你才知道三个，我知道的太多了，太多的大学生毕业以后出事了。我问他为什么？他说，主要就是不适应社会。我问，清华大学的毕业生怎么样？他说，为了保证他们毕业后能迅速适应社会，我们在毕业前尽量让他们当一回学生会干部，让他们学会跟别人共事、沟通，实在当不了干部的，给他们讲讲课，让他们懂一些与人相处的道理，打打预防针。

　　我分析了一下，中国现在的大学生情况是这样的：在家里，只要他一举手，所有事情家长都办妥，因为现在只有一个孩子，孩子学习负担太重，他只知道所有的人都帮他，不知道帮别人；上了大学后，因为没有养成帮助别人的习惯，同学之间谁也不理谁，缺少配合、互动；走向社会后，发现没有人帮他，感到孤独、苦闷，情商高的学生很快就适应了，情商差的学生就容易出事。美国人的结论是，神童往往趋向平庸和卓越两极，平庸与卓越在智商上没差别，区别在情商上。具有坚毅精神，有强烈的自信心和进取精神，好胜、谨慎的人往往成为卓越者。

　　哈佛大学教授、著名心理学家麦克里兰，曾经找了一家全球餐饮公司，把领导者分成高情商和低情商两组进行研究。他的结论是，情商高的一组，有87％的人业绩突出，所领导的分部销售业绩高于指标的15％－20％；而情商低的一组，年终考评很少优秀，所领导的分部销售业绩低于指标的20％。为什么高情商的领导，团队的工作业绩高？因为一个低情商的领导，如果受了上级的气，他就会无端向下属发火，下属就会感到委屈，牢骚满腹，工作没有积极性，一级传一级，团队绩效就会差。所以在高压状态下，阳光心态和高情商是使你保持不断进步的基础。
　 
 
　　有人可能会问，情商的十五条特性，我增强哪一条呢？我告诉大家，根据比较优势原理，不在于你有多强，而在于你比对手强；不在于你有多差，而在于对手比你差。经典的格言是，在一个盲人的国度里，独眼龙就可以当国王了。在悉尼奥运会射击决赛上，只剩下最后一枪了，我国选手比美国选手落后3环，没有希望夺金牌了。但是谁也没有想到的事情发生了，美国选手由于紧张，最后一枪竟然打在了别人的靶上，脱靶了，我们捡了一块金牌，说明不在于你有多差，而在于对手比你差。
　
　情商既然是认知、管理情绪的能力，我们就要找到人和人情绪互动的路径，然后从这些路径入手，管理、提升我们的情商。要从小事入手，从大事着眼，麦当劳的缔造者，雷·克洛克说，如果你关照了小事情，大事情自然会关照你。
　
　人和人直接互动有握手、说话、目光交流等，间接互动主要是信函。
　　关于目光，目光能伤人。一个心理学博士做了一个试验，他在一对关系紧张的夫妻的胳膊上安装了传感器，传感器连着电压表，让他们面对面坐着，然后他打开摄像机进行录像。他发现当反目的夫妻目光相遇的时候，双方的电压表显示的数字都升高了。由此博士得出的结论是，反目的夫妻双方对视的时候，各自的心跳加快，胳膊上的电压升高，他们在仇视。有一个清华大学MBA的学生给我写作业，写的是他小的时候，一次母亲带着他上街，母亲看到了她的顶头上司——单位的科长，便主动跟科长打招呼，这个科长瞪了她母亲一眼，没说话，弄得他母亲很尴尬，脸上红一块白一块。孩子问，妈妈，你怎么啦？妈妈说，人家没瞧得起咱们，咱们家太卑微了，你一定要努力，好好学习为妈妈争气啊。孩子决心为妈妈争气，刻苦学习最终考上了清华大学，而且各科成绩优秀被推荐了研究生。领导的目光伤害了她的母亲，母亲的话激励了他的奋起，目光就有这么大的力量。

　　关于握手，我讲一个我自己的亲身经历。1994年清华大学经管学院十年院庆，当时朱鎔基总理是院长，那天朱总理来清华，到了中午的时候大家都站好队，等待和总理合影。朱总理从屋里走出来，见了我们说，对不起了，我只能和前排的人握手。我当时很幸运被排在了前排，我想握手要认真，当时社会上流行的说法是，如果一个人握手有力，说明这个人真挚、诚恳，我想我得用力。我长期拉单杠，手劲很大，酝酿了半天，终于盼到总理走过来了，他一伸出手，我马上用两只手牢牢地钳住总理的手，总理看了我两眼，心想你这个家伙想干啥，想把我的手捏碎，还好总理没说什么，否则大家就恨透我了，当时把我吓坏了，好几天缓不过劲。又有一次遇到了演《红楼梦》里的贾母的演员，握手的时候，我刚想捏，突然一想不行，那怎么才能传达我的热情呢？我就上下抖，老太太说，别抖了，我手臂刚骨折，弄得我挺尴尬。人家私下里都说，这个小吴，握手不是捏就是抖。从此我就收集握手的材料，偶然收到了江青和毛主席第一次握手的情况。一次毛主席给抗大学员讲话，江青在底下猛鼓掌，毛主席发现那边有一个女士很热情，就经常往那边看，发现女士长得还挺好看。毛主席讲话刚结束，江青第一个跑上去主动和毛主席握手，说：主席，您讲的太好了，我就是没听懂。毛主席握着江青的手后，忘记松开了，江青是高情商的人，心想你不松开，我也不拿出来，我还要给你一个正当的理由不松开。江青问，这个问题是怎么回事？毛主席说，这个问题是这样的；江青又问，那个问题是怎么回事？毛主席说，那个问题是这样的。江青还要问，毛主席说，你到我办公室来，我给你详细解释。握手应该怎么握？适度用力，目光适度交流，抖3－4次就松开。

　　语言是最常用、最重要的沟通方式，弄不好会伤人。有人跟上级说话非常好听，对下级说话很难听，这种人升得比较快。有一个人升到了村长的位置，村民盖房子请他吃饭，他说，人家盖房子都是一层，你们家是两层，如果倒了全家不都砸死在里了吗？村民心里有气但不敢说。又有一家孩子满月，请村长吃饭，村长老婆警告他，你别瞎说。吃饭的时候他一句话也没说，憋得够呛，最后主人送他，说，村长，您老人家走好。这次他可说话了，“我告诉你啊，今天我什么话也没说，将来你孩子有病死了别找我”。村民被噎得喘不过气。我有一次到温州讲课，晚上一个人在饭店餐厅吃饭，听邻桌有两个人聊天，一个是刚从上海来的客人，另一个是接待他的温州人，上海人说，上飞机前，客户请我吃饭，那顿饭花了他不少钱，他说的一句话可把我气坏了。温州人问，客户说什么啦？上海人说，他说，好好吃啊，多吃点儿，吃饱了好上路。有人总想去讨好别人，但是一拍马屁就拍在马蹄子上。

　　在你和别人进行语言交流的时候，要遵守四个要点：第一，要知道自己的情绪，第二，要知道别人的情绪，第三，要尊重别人的情绪，第四，要控制自己的情绪。要提升五种能力：第一，认识自身情绪的能力，第二，妥善管理情绪的能力，第三，自我激励的能力，第四，认识他人情绪的能力，第五，人际关系的管理能力。提升情商的核心就是这四个要点和五种能力。

　　人是情绪动物，如果滥用情绪，人际关系必然紧张。如果是月光心态，翻云覆雨，忽冷忽热，谁也受不了，就是夫妻也要离婚。如果这样的人当领导，组织一定是离心离德，大家都忙自己的事情，不关心组织的发展，扯皮推诿，只要不在自己的职责范围内就不管，省得你骂我。

　　如何发挥自己的潜能呢？有一个健身俱乐部，一天来了一个胖先生要减肥，经理指着一个健美、漂亮的女孩对胖先生说，你只要能追上她，你想干啥就可以干啥。胖先生追了女孩几天，发现肚子下去了，减肥了。一天又来了一个胖先生要减肥，经理对一个长得象母夜叉似的女士说，你只要能追上这位胖先生，你想干啥就可以干啥。这个长得像母夜叉的女士流着口水追这个胖先生，胖先生拼命地跑，几天以后发现也减肥了。这个故事揭示的道理是，追求幸福和被痛苦追逐，都可以使人的潜能得到最大程度地发挥。

　　认识自己靠内省。河南春都集团老总高凤来，杀猪出身，特别讨厌别人说他是屠夫，他在自己的名片上印着中国著名经济学家，是他自封的，他就怕别人的思想超过自己，处处表现出傲慢、强硬。不管在什么场合，别人说的话不能比他深刻，只要深刻一点，他就要把别人贬一通，所有和他接触过的人，都说这人太傲。最后春都被他弄垮了，这就叫天欲其亡，先令其狂。我的一个河南朋友告诉我，河南有一句俗话，当你感到自己是个东西的时候，你就不是个东西了。你如果是个东西，也得让别人说，自己不能说。

　　认识别人靠移情。移情就是感情移入，换位思考，就是有同理心。在重要的场合一定要学会换位思考，要换位思考先要对人有所了解。我把人分成老人、小孩、年轻人、中年人。老人的特点是恐惧、唠叨，你和老人互动的原则是欣赏、承认，即欣赏他们的过去，承认他们现存的一点能力。这种谈话方式北京心血管病医生称之为“话疗”—谈话治疗。老人如果说，我当年如何如何，你只管点头欣赏，国际之间交往还要回顾历史呢，你决不能说，好汉不提当年勇。根据这样的原则，我们和神华集团的老总叶青互动。我们给神华集团下属的国华能源集团公司做发展战略，但首先要知道大老板的想法，我们通过关系找到了叶青，叶青答应接见我们，时间是45分钟。对于这种大人物，我们要先了解他的历史。叶青的历史是这样的，他原来是黑龙江鸡西矿务局的总工程师，一次赵紫阳总理到鸡西矿务局视察，让他们汇报工作，这帮人见了总理吓得不敢说话了，就让叶青汇报。如果谁见了大人物，面不改色心不跳，说话舌头不打弯，这人一定有前途。叶青见了总理心里不害怕，汇报条理清晰，数字准确。赵紫阳说这个人不错，有能力，回到北京后，把他提拔为煤炭部副部长，不久当上国家计委副主任，后来当了神华集团总经理，不过他喜欢人家称他主任。见了叶青后，由我来启动话题，我是这样说的，叶主任，我们很早就知道您，知道您的记忆力非常好，您可以席地而坐和总理通电话，2个小时充满数据，一个数字不差；您是上通天、下通地，您可以把江总书记称为泽民，把朱总理称为鎔基，这是一般人都不敢的；您的权力途径非常绵长，各个城市都有您的基础；您还具有大手笔，神华集团是您超级大一体化战略的产物；您集大企业家与政治家于一身，在中国独一无二。您能不能把您的思想给我们传授传授，我们好给国华集团做一个好战略。老头子认真听完了，说本来不想说的，现在看来可以说了，他就滔滔不久，说了45分钟还不停。秘书进来说，叶主任，某某市长来了，您是约好这个时间接见他的。老头子说，让他等着，我正和清华教授们谈话呢。我们受宠若惊，但我们心里想，别说了，你的想法我们知道了，快点结束吧，老头子一直说了2小时。这就是欣赏和承认的力量。

　　年轻人拥有未来，和年轻人互动的原则是，在力所能及的情况下，举手之劳，帮他一下。下面的事情是朱鎔基总理的一个远房亲戚告诉我的。朱鎔基3岁时父亲就去世了，家里很穷买不起书，他就一分钱、两分钱攒。有一个远房亲戚知道了，给了他5块钱买书，这件事情他终生不忘。朱鎔基很聪明，学习很努力，考上了清华大学电机系。他学习非常努力，但总拿不了班里第一，他很痛苦。一次他对班长说，我这么努力学习，为什么总拿不了第一呢？班长说，鎔基，别说你没拿第一，我也没拿第一呢，不是我们学习不好，而是别人学习太好。朱鎔基明白了，他就不再争班里第一，他把多余的精力投入在学生会工作上，锻炼了领导能力，最终获得了成功，当上了总理。有一次回清华大学的时候，朱鎔基说，学习拿不了第一不要紧，不影响当总理。一次朱鎔基总理回家省亲，说想和我合影的人先要报名，一下子有几百人报名，朱鎔基从里面选了二十几个人，说只有这些人可以和我合影。在准备照相的时候，朱鎔基想到了那5块钱的事情，就和那个远房亲戚热情交谈，说当年你给我的5块钱，帮了我的大忙，我要好好谢谢你。陪同的省长一听，总理都感谢他，我当然要带头表示感谢，省长说，你当年对我们总理真够意思，太好了，我们不能对你不够意思，以后你们家的事情就是我的事情，赶紧递上一张私人名片，有事就打这上面的电话。市长一看省长表态了，接着赶紧表态，说，你们家的事情就是我们市的事情，递上一张私人名片，有事打电话找我。别的亲戚一看傻眼了，有一个直埋怨他老爹，咱家当年是不是缺钱啊，你当年怎么就不给他5块钱呢？他老爹说，咱家当年不缺钱，当时我就是没看出这小孩长大了能当上总理。

　　中国医学科学院下属的一个专科医院，B超科分来了一个大学生，B超科的人不愿意接受他，把他当对手，让他在墙角的一张桌子上整理资料，大学生待不住了，几个月以后调到别的科室去了。若干年后，这个医院提拔了一个人当院长，就是那个大学生，B超科的人一看傻眼了。不是所有的人都是心胸宽广的，这个院长从内科调了一个大夫放到B超科，B超科的一些智商高，情商低的人马上排挤这个内科大夫，想把他挤兑走。这个内科大夫不在乎，刻苦钻研，业务很快就熟悉了，B超科主任要退休了，他就毛遂自荐竞选B超科主任，结果竞选成功。他当了主任后就开始报复排挤他的人，有些人本来是教授，我就不聘你，就给你讲师待遇，教授一个月6000元，讲师一个月2000元。有一个教授受不了，想跳槽到别的医院，别的医院不要他，一气之下干脆移民到加拿大。我问他，你都快50岁的人了，在国内都在走下坡路，到加拿大怎么活啊？他说，找朋友帮忙。我说，就你这样的情商，在国内都没交几个朋友，到加拿大找谁啊？挺悲惨的。

　　长春工商银行的一个科长，特别能往行长家跑，门槛差点被他踢碎了。行长一看这个人不错，把他提拔当了处长。行长退了以后，这个人再也不上他家去了，打电话给他，他还很不礼貌，他不知道行长在退休前已经把自己的人都安排好了，行长一气之下给新行长打了一个电话，说你把他给我拿下，新行长找了一个借口把这个处长免职了，让他干经办。这个人一贯对上面笑脸，对下面凶脸，手下人恨透他了，谁也不支持他的工作，这个人最后不得不从工商银行跳槽。
 
 
　　和孩子互动的原则是，奶粉加赞美。有一个七岁的小男孩对我说，我活着没意思。我问他，你怎么啦。他说，我将来肯定考不上大学，考不上大学就找不到工作，活着没意思。这个男孩只接触三个人，父母和阿姨。他的父亲在清华很优秀，是一个教授，我观察他是这样和孩子说话的，你怎么这么差？你怎么就不像我？这题你都不会将来怎么考大学？考不上大学就找不到工作，你说你这种人活着有啥意思？渐渐地孩子的心理就变得阴暗了。

　　我到美国沃顿商学院进修，一次参加他们的感恩节Party，大家排队用纸杯打可乐，我前面有一个小男孩，手里拿着一杯可乐，不小心纸杯掉在了地上，可乐、冰块洒了一地，我当时想说他一通，你怎么不拿住了？为什么你把杯子掉在地上？你想干什么？正当我把汉语翻译成英语想说的时候，美国服务小姐说，不要紧，姐姐帮你擦干净，你再去打，这个尴尬的小男孩又打了一杯可乐高高兴兴地跑掉了。我幸好没来得及说话，如果说了，就会给那个美国女孩留下一个把柄，有朝一日她如果给学生讲跨文化领导力比较研究的时候，她就会把这件事情作为例子讲给学生听。她会说，中西方文化的差异是，中国人发现孩子犯了错误，就骂他一个狗血喷头，在伤口上洒点盐；美国人不是这样的，如果孩子知道错误了，我们不在伤口上撒盐，给他留下自尊，他就会自信，自强，自立。由于对孩子教育的方式不同，中国人不自信，美国人自信。真是这样的，我从小就是这样被训大的，现在我见到年龄比我大的人我害怕，因为他会训我；见到有权力的人我害怕，因为他会批评我，所以总是提心吊胆，不知道什么情况会发生。这种思维惯性一直跟随着我，我想打破它，但是不行。美国服务小姐的话是我在沃顿商学院的最大收获，他转变了我的思想。听过我的课的人，你的思想也会转变。一次我和孩子上街买了一箱缇子，孩子问，爸爸，什么东西，让我看看。我说，回家再看。孩子说，不行，我就要看。我就打开箱子，他拿出了一串缇子，举起来说，葡萄，是葡萄，他一边说一边晃，把粒全晃掉了。他吓了一跳，不敢说话了。要是在过去，我一定要骂他个狗血喷头，还可能踢他一脚。现在我知道了，如果孩子知错了，你不能在伤口上撒盐，要给他留下自尊，这样他才能自信、自强、自立。我说，没事，别害怕，跟爸爸把箱子抬回家去。他不敢抬，他怕把箱子掉地上，缇子摔坏了，我找他麻烦。

　　广州的一个女士听了我的课，回广洲后给我打下话，说吴老师，你掉葡萄的故事可是帮了我一个大忙，昨天晚上我先生喝咖啡，竟然把杯子掉到了地毯上，弄脏了我的漂亮地毯，我当时火大了，真想骂他个狗血喷头。你这么大的一个人怎么连一个杯子都拿不住，你是不是得了老年痴呆症了！当我刚想骂的时候，你小孩掉葡萄的故事立刻进入了我的脑海，然后我的火唰的一下就没了，一点火都没有了。哪种感觉特别惬意，就像小猫抓住了一个老鼠，不吃它，不停地戏弄它，它又跑不掉。我对先生说，别害怕，没关系，擦一下就行了。吴老师，你知道接下来发生了什么事情？我先生走过来紧紧地拥抱我，给我一个热烈的Kiss。这个女士已经人到中年了，丈夫热烈的拥抱和猛烈的Kiss已经成为希缺行为了，为什么希缺？因为审美疲劳。我鼓励大家向她学习，让这种激情适度发生，给孩子缔造一个温馨的港湾。

　　对待下属也是这样，奶粉加赞美，缔造下属的自信。民营企业老板很认同我这套理论。有一个美国人叫鲍伯?胡佛，是一个著名的飞机试飞员，有一次他驾驶飞机，刚升空到90米，两个发动机突然不转了，他沉着操纵飞机落地。落地后一检查，发现是年轻的机械师给飞机加错了油。大家都挖苦他，你怎么干的！怎么这么吊儿郎当！机械师无地自容，恨不得钻到地下去。这时鲍伯?胡佛过来拍了拍机械师的肩膀，说，没事，我相信你会干得更好，你马上给我换油，我接着飞。从此，这个机械师再也没有犯过错误。你们知道鲍伯?胡佛有多么厉害吗？有非凡的个人魅力。这个故事让我明白，个人魅力靠故事转播。同样企业品牌也靠故事传播，企业文化也靠故事传播。我到你们这儿讲课，能给我留下记忆的东西，都是我今后讲课的案例，我会把它传播到全国各地。大家看到我老动脖子，知道吴老师脖子有毛病。有人中午休息的时候就买膏药去了，给我贴上。我到别处讲课就会这样讲，某某银行是一个金融服务性企业，员工具有极强的服务意识，他们养成了为顾客着想的习惯，他们会发现顾客的现实和潜在需求，来感动顾客，就以贴膏药为例。

　　领导者的思想和员工的头脑之间存在一条河，思想要通过桥梁才能传递过去，故事就是这个桥梁。在MBA教学中，我们把故事称为案例，有自己的、别人的、寓言的、比喻的和杜撰的。如果一个领导在会上说，大家要有团队意识，要合作，要相互支持形成一个团队，这样说说团队不可能实现。麻雀和小猫的寓言故事，有一只麻雀和一只小猫，两人从小就是好朋友，一起玩耍非常开心。有一天来了一个新麻雀，新麻雀、老麻雀、小猫三个在一起玩耍。一次两只麻雀闹翻了，打起来了，老麻雀找到小猫说，你还没吃过麻雀肉吧，麻雀肉很好吃。小猫说，是吗？老麻雀说，你把新麻雀吃了就知道了。在老麻雀的帮助下，小猫吃掉了新麻雀。小猫从来没吃过麻雀肉，发现麻雀肉真是太好吃了，从此就昼思夜想，想来想去就养成了思维习惯，麻雀＝肉好吃，肉好吃＝麻雀。终于有一天小猫实在忍不住了，把老朋友吃了。你把这个故事向你认识的人讲吧，就是市委书记也要认真感悟这个故事。麻雀和小猫的寓言故事告诉大家，第一，要选准对手，对手还没有搞清楚呢，就相互斗，只有失败。毛主席教导我们，谁是我们的敌人，谁是我们的朋友，这个问题是革命的首要问题；第二，同事之间要相互补台，不要拆台，否则就会倒台；第三，出卖同伴，就会伤害自己。非洲野马和蝙蝠的故事，非洲生长着一种很小的吸血蝙蝠，专门盯在马身上吃马血，马恨透了蝙蝠，想尽一切办法把蝙蝠除掉，但是除不掉，最后野马就在草原中狂奔，最后野马累死了。其实野马只要挺一挺，让它吃，蝙蝠也吸不了多少血，蝙蝠吃饱了就飞走了。这个故事告诉大家，要选准对手，不要选错对手，小不忍则乱大谋。很多人做不了大事，就是因为小事烦恼。

　　人犯错误的时候，自信心受挫，急需别人扶一下。一般人的想法是，他犯了错误了，可把他抓住了，数落他一通，弄得他无地自容，他就对团队开始冷漠。情商高的人善解人意，心地高洁，会给人真诚的理解和慰籍。我一次到昆明讲课，老总一高兴，说别住酒店了，到我别墅来住。我在别墅草地上看到了一根向上直立的锁链，我问他，这是什么意思？他说，这叫逆向思维。当天晚上，这个逆向思维的老总，推出了一项政策，职工要挂牌服务，优秀的员工挂A牌，中间的挂B牌，最差的挂C牌。现在我请你们判断，这种政策可不可行？不可行，为什么？因为客户不高兴。客户来了，看见一个挂C牌的柜员为他服务，他心想，我真倒霉，我怎么就摊上他呢？弄得鸡飞狗跳。通过这件事我得到启发，换位要到位，到位要到当事人。位置有三个，自己、对方、旁观者。我到山西阳泉给一家企业讲课，住一个二星酒店，房间里放了一个服务卡，上面写着，服务内容：定餐服务、叫早服务、旅游服务、定票服务、桑那洗脚，落款是团支部。我就产生了好奇，我从来没在服务卡上看过落款是团支部的。第二天我把卡拿到教室，问他们这是什么意思？团支部书记说，没有别的意思，我们就想当优秀团支部，在可以展示我们风采的地方，我们要努力工作。经理明白，这样不行，告诉人赶紧把卡撤下去。有人想讨好顾客，顾客反而有意见，你知道这说明什么问题吗？井底之蛙式的思维。如何打破井底之蛙式的思维？读万卷书，行万里路，阅人无数。有人说，读万卷书不如行万里路，行万里路不如阅人无数。又有人说，阅人无数不如高人点悟，高人点悟不如紧跟大师脚步。很多中介公司都是这么说的。因为眼界决定眼光，眼光决定思路，思路决定出路，出路决定活路。

　　有一个老头病危了，一天他突然睁开了眼，对儿女说，房上有秘方，可以治我的病。儿女说，我们给你去拿。老头满怀希望吐出了最后一口气，死了。这件事情被写在书上传播开了，有一个人看了以后说，这本书我怎么不早一点看到，我要是看到了就不后悔了。他的老爹病危，昏迷了几天以后老爹突然睁开了双眼，说，珍珠龙凤汤熬好了吗？在场的所有人都听到了，他脱口而出，这是回光返照啊，老爹要咽气了，快点给老爹穿衣服，不然就来不及了。老头带着忧伤失落吐出了最后一口气，死了。大家指责他，你喊什么？谁不知道这是回光返照，就你博才多学？老爹最后一点希望让你给扑灭了。这个人追悔莫及，将在痛苦中度过后半生。这种话应该换一种方式说，即建设性地真诚。什么是建设性地真诚？如果真实情感会伤害别人，那就隐藏起来，代之以虽然虚假但不会伤害别人的情感。

　　有一个母亲这样和她的儿子互动。她参加幼儿园的家长会，老师告诉她，你儿子有多动症，在凳子上连三分钟也坐不了。在回家的路上，儿子说，老师说我什么？母亲鼻子一酸，差点哭了，她忍着说，宝宝，老师表扬你了，原来你在凳子上坐不了一分钟，现在能够坐三分钟了，别的孩子的妈妈特别羡慕妈妈，因为全班的孩子中，只有宝宝进步了，当天晚上孩子破天荒地吃了两碗饭。上小学的时候，母亲去开家长会，老师说，全班50人，你儿子数学成绩排第49，倒数第二，怀疑有智力问题，你最好带他到医院检查一下。在路上母亲哭了，回到家里看到儿子诚惶诚恐的样子，母亲说，老师对你充满了信心，只要你细心，你会超过同桌的，第二天儿子上学比每天起得都早。上初中的时候，母亲开家长会，老师对他说，按照你儿子的成绩，考重点高中够呛。母亲回来对儿子说，老师对你挺满意的，只要你努力，很有希望考上重点高中。这是一个聪明的母亲，她不断鼓励孩子，给孩子以向上的力量，在她不断的鼓励下，这个孩子后来考上了清华大学。

　　换位要到位但不能换错位。见了领导要打招呼，但在一些场合下就不能打招呼，领导怕你看到的地方，你就要装着没看见。
　　人的自信来自于两个方面：态度和实力，我送给大家一首小诗，它可以使你变得开心。

　　如果你不能成为山顶上的一棵松，
　　就做一丛小树生长在山谷中，
　　但必须是小溪边最好的一棵小树。
　　如果你不能成为一棵小树,就做灌木一丛。
　　如果你不能成为一丛灌木,就做一片草绿；
　　让公路上也有几分欢娱。
　　我们不能都做船长,我们得做海员。
　　如果你不能作一条公路,就做一条小径。
　　如果你不能做太阳,就做一颗星星。
　　不能凭大小来断定你的输赢，
　　不论做什么你都要做最好的一名。

　　下面讲一个经典案例。有一个农场主决心一夜暴富，他去问一个商人，请你告诉我，世界上最值钱的是什么？商人告诉他，是钻石。他瞪大了眼睛问，那里有钻石？商人告诉他，钻石在亚马逊森林。农场主还真相信了，把农场养的牛、羊廉价卖了，到亚马逊森林找钻石去了，当然一无所获，最后农场主自杀了，农场由他儿子经营。一次商人来到农场，看到桌子上的一块石头问，这个石头你是从哪里得到的？农场主儿子说，农场有条小河沟，沟旁都是这种石头，我看它和一般的石头不一样，挺有意思的，就拿回来一个放在桌子上。商人告诉他，这就是钻石，你快领我去。到了小河沟商人发现这是一个露天钻石矿。这个案例揭示什么道理，留给大家课后思考。

　　一个人的自信有两个方面，能力自信和非能力自信。能力自信指的是相信自己有能力把事情做好；非能力自信是指知道自己没有能力完成这件事，坦然处之。能喝酒的，喝是自信，不能喝酒的，不喝也是自信。
　　人在顺境的时候容易自信，在逆境的时候就不容易自信了。在逆境的时候如何才能自信呢？第一，要知道谷底原理。谷底原理是这样说的，如果你掉到坑里了，你接下来会发生什么事情？你可能要喊人，打电话求救，向上爬等。我告诉你，你再也不会向下掉了，你已经很差了，就不会再差了，这样你就有自信了。第二，要忘掉自我。忘掉自我是说，别把自己看太重，看太高，你就不会有失落感。有一头骆驼从沙漠的一端经过艰苦跋涉到了另一端，一只苍蝇趴在骆驼背上也越过了沙漠。苍蝇对骆驼说，幸苦你了，谢谢你把我驮了过来，再见。骆驼看了一眼苍蝇说，你在我身上的时候，我根本就不知道，你走了也没必要跟我打招呼，你根本就没那么重，别把自己看太重了。

　　你们知道温州人为什么能够迅速崛起吗？我认为，温州人从来不把自己看太重是一个重要因素。国家刚实行身份证，温州人就能造了，但他们不能发行。他们就跑到公安部，请求为公安部制造身份证，公安部把他们给拘留了。他们给温州市长打电话求救，市长赶紧给公安部打电话，说他们只想赚钱，没别的意思，公安部把他们放了。科索沃危机爆发，联合国出面调停，调停的结果是俄罗斯部队进驻科索沃，到了发现中国温州人已经到了，他们知道科索沃经过战争的洗礼，一定缺衣少食，就像一副对联写的，上联：二三四五，下联：六七八九，横批：缺一少十。温州人就带着多年的库存来卖钱了。美国驻科索沃部队要换肩章，温州人说，我们可以为你们定制。美国人问，你们是什么人？他们说，我们是中国温州人。美国人问，温州在中国什么地方？他们说，温州在中国杭州旁边。美国人问，你们东西的质量好吗？他们说，我们可以为你买好头等舱机票，到温州住五星级饭店，看看我们的货，看中了你们就订货，看不中没关系，我们交个朋友。美国人喜欢占便宜，到温州一看，肩章质量不错，招待得也挺好，签了合同。温州人拿到了肩章的订单后并不满足，他们又说，我们的服装也挺好，你再看看我们的货，又拿到了服装的订单。温州人拿到了美国军队的订单，就开始游说我们驻港部队了，美国军队的肩章都是我们造的，你们的也得给我们做。

　　有一个著名的案例，船票的故事。一家爱尔兰人准备移民到美国，省吃俭用终于攒足了钱买了去美国的船票。他们一家人上了一艘美国船。为了省钱，他们买了一些干粮带到船上吃，一路上他们就吃这些干粮，看别人在餐厅里大吃特吃，非常羡慕，心想如果我们有钱，一定也要吃这种饭。快到终点的时候，一个女孩病了，再也吃不下饼干了，父亲硬着头皮找到服务生，说，先生，你能不能把哪些富人们吃剩下的饭拿一些给我的女儿吃，她生病了，再也吃不下干粮了。服务生听了非常吃惊，瞪大了眼睛问，先生，难道你们一直没到餐厅吃饭吗？爱尔兰人说，没有啊，我们没有钱，我们买的是最下等舱的船票，我们根本付不起餐费。服务生说，你已经付过餐费了，它已经包含在你们船票里了，最下等舱只是你们睡觉的地方，其它的地方你们都付过费了，你们快去吧，不然要到站了。等这个爱尔兰人知道他们可以到餐厅用餐的时候，船到站了。这个故事由于遗憾而传播下来。遗憾的故事给人以启发，失败的案例给人以深沉。就像梁山伯与祝英台的故事，为什么大家去讨论它，有人说，因为他们没结婚，如果结婚了，就没人去讨论它了，谁不结婚啊？现在请你们告诉我，船票的故事给你们什么启发？第一，人要自信，不要自卑。这个爱尔兰人太自卑了，不要自卑，离开原来的环境，大家都是一样的。第二，要学会沟通。这个爱尔兰人不会沟通，沟通好了，上下通达，左右逢源，时时有贵人，处处有资源。为什么要沟通呢？因为士为知己者死，女为悦己者容，神为通己者明，马为策己者驰，所以要沟通。第三，不能把面子看得太重。这个爱尔兰人太重面子，不好意思问别人，为了面子，里子也没有了。第四，要注意学习。这个爱尔兰人太懒，不抽点时间读读船上的旅客须知，不注意学习，学习力太差。第五，要打破头脑中的思维禁锢。这个爱尔兰人思维禁锢，在英国船上，餐厅用餐要收费，他就以为在美国船上，餐厅用餐也收费，殊不知除了酒水外，在美国船上用餐是免费的。思维禁锢对人的限制很大，它是一个无形的井，牢牢地把你禁锢住。

　　大家都是领导者，学习完领导学之后，你们要把下属变成追随者。为什么下属要追随你？因为他能从你哪里获得自信。如果他不能从你哪里获得自信，他决不会追随你，他只是你的下属，他不会心甘情愿地为你做事的。如何才能使下属获得自信呢？我告诉你一个办法，就是认可和赞美。当然你也可以用职务、金钱、关系，但认可和赞美是最容易且最易实现的方法，也叫赏识式管理。没有人穷，穷到给不出一个赞美；没有人富，富到不需要一个赞美。玛丽?凯说，有两样东西比金钱和性更为人们所需要，那就是认可和赞美。林肯当了总统以后工作非常忙，他规定给每个拜访者只有5分钟的接待时间。一次一个人半小时才出来，大家问林肯，你怎么就给他那么长的时间？林肯说，当人被奉承的时候，就会忍受好多事情。如果领导在公开场合下赞美你敬业，你就不能不敬业；赞美你会穿衣服、会打扮，你每天上班就不能不注意打扮，注意穿着，这叫“上房抽梯”，把你高高地送上去，然后再把梯子撤走，你就下不来了。石家庄一个房地产公司的老总请我去讲课，派他的办公室主任开车来接我。他不认识路，看见路边停了一排车，他把车停在那里。警察来了要罚款，他很聪明，他说，罚款可以，我是石家庄的，我在电视上看过对北京警察的报道，说咱们北京警察是全国人民学习的榜样，他们给陌生人带路认真负责。我来北京请清华大学的教授去讲课，我不认识路，请你先把我带到路那边，我再交罚款好吗。警察一听没办法，带路吧，警车开路，一路畅通，顺利到了路那边接了我。我对警察说，对不起，我们停错车了，罚款我掏。警察想了一下说，不罚了，你们快走吧。你看赞美的力量有多大，第一不罚款，第二还带路。这个警察回去以后，可能会后悔，当时怎么就不罚他们呢？没有捞到实惠，但是获得了好心情。

　　为什么人人都喜欢被赞美呢？根据马斯洛的原理，因为自我实现。你们可能觉得这样说没有穿透力，我下面告诉你们一句话，你们听了以后，自卑情结就会一扫而空，你们可以想象一下这句话的力量有多大。这句话是：人人都有自卑情结。因为人人都有自卑情结，在别人面前，你不要夸大自己的自卑，你要变得自信。因为人人都有自卑情结，所以人人都要从别人那里得到激励。在这个世界上，无论是什么人，无论他具有多么高的位置，无论他具有多么大的权力，人人都感到自信心不足，人人都感到向上的力量不足，都需要从别人那里得到积极的反馈。你的下属有自卑情结，你的同事有自卑情结，你的上级同样有自卑情结。在一个小企业工作的人，见了小企业主自卑，小企业主见了大企业家自卑，大企业家见了世界500强的企业家自卑，就连美国总统都有自卑情结，克林顿见了莱文斯基自卑，萨达姆见了小布什自卑，总统见了皇帝自卑，皇帝见了你自卑，因为没有人想杀你啊，你想